On Love and Marriage

So much has already been said that it is easy to feel lost in a sea of information.

 "2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,
 3 Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,
 4 Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;
 5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.
 6 For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts,
 7 Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth."

--2 Timothy 3

We're already all feeling overwhelmed by how many things we have to do and be in order to achieve marital bliss (or marital anything, for that matter). Sometimes it seems easier to just throw in the towel and give up on the whole thing.

I don't believe that it's that complicated.

I voraciously consume the world's best books on relationships and marriage. In conjunction with case studies, personal experience, and research, I have concluded that happy and healthy marriages can be attributed and boiled down to four key elements:

1) Living the Gospel of Jesus Christ

"Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities." 

--The Family: A Proclamation to the World

2) Fundamental Personality Compatibility

There are many resources to discover your personality and the personality of your significant other:

The Color Code
Four Temperaments
Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
Five Love Languages
StrengthsFinder
Emotional Fingerprint

3) Mutual Love

There are four types of love:

Agápe: brotherly love, charity; the love of God for man and of man for God
Éros: love, mostly of the sexual passion
Philía: affectionate regard, friendship
Storgē: love, affection, especially of parents and children

 Marriage is most enjoyable when all forms of this love are present.

4) Common Interests, Goals, and Mission

Do you like the same things? Are you working toward the same goals? Do you share a common purpose and vision? Do you want to accomplish the same things in life? If you are working toward the same things, as time passes, you will grow together and not apart.

When bogged down with so many opinions and so much information, I always find myself returning to these basic principles. 

The last three elements are largely determined in the selection process, which is why selecting a mate may be the most important choice you will ever make. However the most important element of the four elements is living the principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

The reason why this is so important is because if you can make a good selection of a life partner, the glue that will hold it together will be adherence to true principles that Christ taught and the foundation upon which it will stand will be the love of Christ. With all four elements in place, there is a much higher likelihood that a marriage will endure the test of time and trial and that meanwhile it will be fulfilling, joyous, enriching, and glorious.